


and not even once did you start to make sense to me

by youaresuchasunshine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Lirry Fic Exchange, M/M, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2283723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youaresuchasunshine/pseuds/youaresuchasunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then, then it happens. Liam lets his hands go back to hold his ankles and looks at Harry, and he's smiling. <i>He's smiling at Harry</i>, only at Harry. He's smiling on purpose at Harry and it's one of the best things to ever happen to him. Maybe that's a little too much. But maybe not, because Liam is <i>smiling</i> at him and it's great. It's so bright and sincere and Harry can't help but grin back at him, and suddenly they are all crinkles and dimples and it's great. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>or a hs au where they meet and are awkward and then they aren't anymore (and they never go to school)</p>
            </blockquote>





	and not even once did you start to make sense to me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annnnnon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annnnnon/gifts).



> **Warning:** there’re mentions of bullying and heavier past bullying, including being locked in small places and some punches. Nothing explicit, they’re just talking about it, but it’s better to be sure. (if you read and consider i should add a stronger warning, please let me know).
> 
> Written for this prompt: _lirry high school au, liam having a Big Crush on harry and harry being Very Oblivious. ends happily though, also please include the other boys as their close friends. (bonus points if other people theyre friends irl with like josh, dan, jon and sandy, little mix, and grimmy are their friends too) (also bonus points if they go to cool parties)_
> 
> Okay, this is my first finished fic ever and it's all over the place and it's maybe too long, but please be nice!
> 
> This is for liamkisses as part of tumblr's lirry fic exchange. I guess I lost at least a point for the lack of cool parties, sorry for that. Hope you like it, sunshine!
> 
> I think that's all. Enjoy!

He sees Harry coming through the door and has a flashback to when they first met. He has entered this same place, looking shy, with that little smile that's always playing at his lips and his curls trapped by his headband. Exactly like now. And it wasn't that long ago. In fact, it was too much closer than it feels like. Just three weeks. Less than a month. And yet, considering everyone, it feels like he's been around since forever.

There are differences, though. That first time, Harry has approached them like he wanted to be somewhere else, like he didn't know what he was doing or what he should do or how he should act around them. Zayn had to practically force him to sit with them that time. Now, Harry approaches them and let himself fall on his regular place, next to Zayn and across from Liam. Liam watches him sit down and tries to smile when Harry looks at him but it feels forced, and he thinks he sees the other boy's face fall a little, but it's gone in a moment, the little smile there again, so Liam can't be sure. He may be imagining things. The worst part is that he really wants to smile at Harry, a real smile. He wouldn't mind if there were crinkles and all, but he can't. It's awful, really, because it surely makes him look like a twat but he just can't do it. And it's not that he doesn't like Harry, that's not the case at all. Liam is pretty sure that there's no soul walking around this Earth that doesn't like Harry. If there's any, he's also sure that that soul is a very sad, very bad soul, in an I-don't-like-puppies-kittens-and-rainbows kind of bad. The problem with Liam is that he likes Harry in a way he doesn't fully understand yet and therefore feels very uncomfortable with. That's the main reason why he can't truly smile at him. It’s stupid.

Liam is taken back to reality by a heavy weight falling on his lap and he snaps his head up to raise an eyebrow at Louis, who he's pretty sure is trying to climb him as a kind of tree.

"Lou, I'm pretty sure you can't be more on me than you are now so just... stop moving," he says, curling an arm around Louis' waist to keep him in place.

"You got lost again," Louis says and Liam looks at him, confused. "You were doing that thing again, you get lost in your mind and stare at your hands. Don't do that. Don't get lost."

"I don't do that." Louis gives him this look where he lifts his eyebrows and looks really unimpressed. "Not that often." Liam can't lie at Louis, it's physically impossible for him. Louis isn't his best friend for nothing, he probably knows Liam better than Liam knows himself.

"Guys, if you don't mind stopping your usual love whispering thing, I was going to tell you all something."

They stop looking at each other and Louis turns a little, still on Liam's lap, to look at Jesy, who's sitting on the table leaning against the wall. The owner of the place has given up ages ago on telling her to use the seats, like normal people do. Actually, the owner has given up on a lot of things with them a very long time ago.

"Sorry, love, didn't mean to make you jealous. I can love whisper to you anytime. But you were saying..." Louis makes a gesture with his hand as if saying _go on_ and Liam sees the control it takes Jesy to not punch Louis on the face. It's something that comes with years of being friends with him, that kind of strong self-control. It comes with the fondness, mostly.

"My parents are going to be out of town until Monday so we're having a party. A proper party. To celebrate the start of our last year in that hell that people call High School. And because we want to. And, well, since he's not gonna do it, we can celebrate our little Liam's birthday too."

"If I wanted a party for my birthday, I would throw it," Liam mostly mumbles, because...

"We don't care. No one asked your opinion."

...Because it's always pointless to argue with the girls, so why wasting his time forming actual proper words.

"So you have a birthday," Harry says, looking at Liam. His cheeks get a little pink when he realises how that sounded and shakes his head, his curls flying around. "I mean, I know you have a birthday, everyone has a birthday, but I meant now. I mean, you have a birthday soon. I mean, your birthday's soon." The pink has spread all over Harry's face by the end of his rambling, and Liam thinks he looks quite adorable. He also thinks that's a weird thought to have.

"Uhm, yeah," he replies shortly, staring at Harry for a brief moment and then looking away.

He really doesn't understand what gets to him every time he has to talk to Harry. He's fine when everybody is talking around and they are part of a bigger conversation, but when it comes to talk to Harry alone, it's like his mind blocks itself and he can't get the words out. That's something very inconvenient when you're trying to be friends with someone. He suddenly realises that he has never really talked to Harry more than a few words, most of them being monosyllabic, and he feels a blush creeping its way up his face too, so he hides it on Lou's shoulder. Yet another weird reaction he's having for something Harry-related.

"Our Leeyum here is turning 17 on the 29th. He never, ever, throws parties because of his birthday, so we throw them for him," Louis explains, and Liam can imagine his wide smile even if he's not looking at him.

"Oh. Cool." He hears Harry saying.

The others continue talking about the party, Liam hearing the conversation from his hiding on Louis' shoulder. After listing all the alcohol there's to buy, the snacks - because Niall can't go more than two hours without taking a snack - and the semi-birthday decoration they're planning to have, Perrie mentions something about the girls wearing crowns for the party, and Liam immediately lifts his head because he knows what's coming next. They've had enough parties together to know exactly what's going to happen and he doesn't want his head getting hit by an annoyed demanding Louis.

"I want a crown too. I demand a crown. Get me a crown," he says, knocking his fist on the table, looking like a five-year-old demanding his mom to buy him that cool new toy.

"I want one, too," says Niall. "And Liam deserves one as well because it's his birthday."

"You lot are not wearing crowns to our party. There's no way." Perrie looks at them all serious and points at them with her index finger. "Maybe you can wear mine later," she winks, leaning on Zayn's shoulder. He blushes just the slightest bit and everyone else starts making sounds of disgust that don't sound real at all. They're so sickeningly in love sometimes.

"We do not need to hear about your private games and I do not have a crown yet," says Louis and looks around the table, as if waiting for someone to take a crown out of their pockets and give it to him.

The girls get their heads together then, and it looks like they're having a deep and very serious debate. After a few minutes, they go back to their previous positions and look at the boys with solemn expressions on their faces.

"We are clearly superior to you all," Perrie starts, matter-of-factly. 

"So we are queens and we're gonna wear crowns," Jade continues.

"But you get to wear flower crowns, as much. If you want," Jesy says, with a gesture of her hand, as to shrug it off.

"We’re queens, you're not. At your best of times you can very lousy princesses, so flower crowns or nothing" Leigh Anne finishes and they all look so smug for some reason.

"Fantastic," says Louis, with a smile as bright as the sun.

Liam doesn't really care about all this, he's planning on being drunk by the half of the party so he won't care what he's wearing. He hasn’t been really into the conversation, instead he’s been looking at Harry from time to time and trying his best to make like he was not when Harry's eyes were about to meet with his. Something about the whole subject does get his attention, though. When the girls mention the flower crowns, he thinks he sees Harry squirm a little on his place, and he's sure he sees him wince when Leigh Anne uses the word princesses. Liam is about to ask Harry if he's okay, but the distressed look on his face is gone after a couple of seconds as if nothing happened and everyone else is talking about something else, so maybe it's not the moment and he doesn't want to pry, either. But he takes a mental note to keep this in mind.

* * * *

"He hates me."

"What?"

"He hates me. Like, a lot. I can't believe it. He has known me for what, three weeks? And he already hates me."

"Harry, mate, what the fuck are you talking about?" Zayn raises his eyebrows and looks utterly confused about Harry. He's not the first one. Or the only one. Many people look at Harry like that; it's a really common thing. But usually it's because he talks about really random things at a very slow pace. Zayn looks at him like that when he talks nonsense at the speed of light.

"Liam. Liam hates me," says Harry, his face falling. He doesn't like when people hate him. He especially doesn't like when nice looking, friendly-with-everyone and lovely-with-some people like Liam hate him.

"He doesn't hate you." Zayn looks at him even more confused than before. He even lets aside his sketchpad and turns his whole body to face Harry properly. "Harry, seriously, Liam doesn't hate you."

"Oh, yes, he does. Totally hates me. He can't even smile at me!" Harry doesn't fully understand why this is an actual problem in his life. It's not like Liam is his oldest friend, like Zayn. He doesn't even like Liam all that much. It's just that... He doesn't like when people doesn't like him.

"Liam can't hate anyone. I think I have never ever in my life seen or heard him hate someone. I'm pretty sure he's unable to hate someone. He would feel infinitely awful about it. Forever. And then he'd be sad and cry or something," Zayn says, shrugging at the end. He looks like he's actually considering if Liam would cry or not. 

And great, just great. Harry went and made this apparently lovely person hate him. He's the first person Liam hates. He has to be a horrible person to manage that. He lets out an embarrassing and quite pathetic noise and falls face-first on the bed. Harry feels Zayn's hand on his back first and then on his curls, scratching lightly. He turns his face a little and he's not really proud of the pouty face he's making right now, but it's Zayn and he's his friend and he can't judge, right?

"I just don't know why he doesn't like me. Have I done something to offend him in any way?" He's sure there is no real reason for him to sound so upset about it. He would be less upset if he understood what Liam had against him. And he'd be way less upset if he understood why the fact that one single person doesn't like him bothers him this much.

Zayn leaves Harry's hair and goes to light a cig, comes back to lay next to him on the bed. He lets out a cloud of smoke and looks at Harry like he's trying to explain the Big Bang Theory to a two-years-old.

"Harry, Haz, babe. Seriously. Liam doesn't hate you. He's just a little weird. And awkward, he's terribly awkward. He's just getting used to you, okay? It has happened before. With me and the girls too." He takes another drag and offers the cig to Harry, who shakes his head as best as he can. "Give him some time, he'll come around and, like, start smiling at you, really. You're way too pretty for someone to actually hate you."

Harry smiles at that, full dimples on display. He always likes it when Zayn says nice things about him, even if it's pure bullshit to cheer him up. It's not something that happens a lot, because it ever only happens when they're alone, so he has to cherish these moments. Showing his dimples is a nice way to do that.

"I mean, look at you, all dimples and curls. Irresistible," Zayn says and ruffles Harry's curls.

They stay like that for a while, until the cig is completely gone and a little more after that. Harry knows what's coming next; he hasn't known Zayn for so long and learnt nothing in the way.

"Haz, why are you so worried about Li not liking you anyway? You said it; you've known him for less than a month." Harry opens his eyes and looks at Zayn, who looks back at him like he already knows everything and Harry hates him a little bit, because he himself doesn't have the answer for that question yet.

 

 

Harry feels a heavy weight landing on him, startling him awake. He looks around, confused, and sees Zayn fast asleep right next to him, in the exact same position he remembers seeing him before falling into unconsciousness. He seems completely unaffected by Perrie lying on top of them, even with her elbow digging - painfully, Harry thinks - in his side.

"Hello, sleepyhead." She smiles sweetly at Harry and then turns her head to reach Zayn's ear. "Wake up, love," she speaks loud and clear, and then bites the ear lobe and okay, that should bring Zayn back, it looks like it fucking hurts. Harry winces and touches his own ear.

They both look at Zayn, still asleep, shifting a little in his place and then waking up slowly. It's nothing surprising, that after what Perrie has done he doesn't show much reaction; he has made quite a reputation as a heavy sleeper after all.

"Vas happenin," he mumbles on the pillow and looks around like Harry has done before. "Oh, hiya," he smiles softly at Perrie.

"Okay, guess that's my cue to leave." Harry gets off from under Perrie's legs and stands up, rearranging his t-shirt and stretching his back.

"Wait, I have something for you. Both of you, actually." Perrie jumps off the bed and picks up her backpack from where it's lying on the floor, takes out two flower crowns and hands one to each boy.

Harry curses under his breath, tightly closing his eyes for a moment; he opens them again, looks at the smiling girl in front of him and tries to smile as well, taking the crown in his hands. He's been hoping for the whole thing to be just a joke, that flower crowns weren't going to be involved in a party with other people besides them and that no one was actually expecting him to wear one. But apparently all those things are happening. Apparently he's done something really bad in all his past lives and karma is fucking up his current one.

"Haz, you okay?" Zayn is eyeing him with concern. Harry can't have that.

"Sure I am," he smiles and puts the fucking crown on his head, over the headband and all. "I'm gonna get going, then. See you later, Zee." He waves his hand and then takes Perrie's in his. "M'lady". He bows down and kisses her hand, making her giggle.

He takes the crown off as soon as he steps outside the house, taking a deep breath. Everything will be okay. It's not gonna be like it was before, he has friends now, real friends, and people in town seem quite nice. There isn't a reason to worry, everything will be fine, he can do this. Maybe if he keeps repeating that to himself, it'll actually happen and he'll get to be happy and peaceful, flower crown and all.

Except that no, no such luck. As soon as he turns around to leave, he sees some guys on the other sidewalk. He's seen them before, they hasn't been very nice to him. He's walked by them a few days after he arrived to town, and he knows they were muttering things and laughing at him. He knows it, he's sure, he's used to it.

Harry's determined to ignore them, but the shouting makes it hard. Well, fuck. He has to have been the worst person on Earth in his previous life, for real.

"Hey,  _princess_ !"

He looks at them for a second and then starts walking with his head down, watching the ground and feeling his cheeks blushing. He has to remind himself that he has to keep breathing and walking and that he has to not pay attention to them, even if they're yelling and apparently following him down the street. He's walking as fast as he can without actually running, and he feels his hand going numb with the force of his grip on the crown. 

"Hey, why did you take your crown off, princess? Not enough flowers for you?"

_Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen. Keep walking. They'll go away. Don't listen._

"Is the little princess upset about something?"

"Is your Fairy Godmother sick? I'm sure she's just caught a cold, don't worry, Your Highness."

It's so stupid, really. These guys are just so stupid and they're talking nonsense, it's not even real bullying, all this shit they're pulling. But it doesn't make Harry feel any better. If anything, it makes him feel even more stupid than them for letting it affect him this way, but he can't help it. He hears them laughing at him and calling him names and making fun of him and he can't help it. He feels his chest tightening and the air doesn't seem to enter his lungs. He's told himself that he isn't going to run, except everything gets too much real fast. He tries, he truly does, but he ends up doing what he always does, running.

* * * *

Sometimes, Harry likes to go for a run. It's the only physical activity he really likes doing, and he's been doing it a lot lately. It helps him clear his mind and keeps his body healthy. Today, he needs to clear his mind, distract himself and make his body go back to a healthier state, without the alcohol from last night in it (he knows it can't be there still, but anyway, there must be toxins or something). So even with his hangover, he's running in the park. It's a nice place, this park; it's been one of his favourite places in this town since he was a kid. It hasn't changed much and it makes Harry feel like he still belongs here, which is something he hasn't felt in a long time now.

He can't come completely around to admit it to himself, but he's also there because he's seen Liam running in this place and they need to talk. Harry needs to talk, but he's not sure if he's allowed to go to Liam's house, doesn't think he is, so he hopes he can run into him here. Though he's not sure how to approach the subject at hand. He's not sure what happened, why did it happen, how did it happen. Not because he was drunk, but because he's utterly confused about the whole thing. He was so sure Liam hated him, and then. Then he wasn't sure anymore and it's very confusing.

He's wishing to find Liam here, but he's not expecting him to come up to him. It looks like he had to run faster than he usually would just to train to catch up to Harry, which probably means he saw Harry and ran to him. Liam is approaching him on purpose. Everything is so confusing.

"Harry, hi," Liam says, with a hand on Harry's shoulder, catching his breath.

"Hello," he stands very still, not having a clue of how to act around Liam anymore.

"I wanted to talk to you," says Liam and it's like he suddenly realises he's touching Harry and immediately straightens up, letting his arm fall to his side.

"Yeah, me too." Harry takes a deep breath and looks at Liam. "I wanted to thank you for last night."

"Can you not tell anyone about last night?" Liam says, at the same time Harry speaks.

They both look at each other for a moment, confused. Apparently Harry's not the only one being permanently confused when they are around each other. It's oddly comforting. Harry sighs, gets out of the sidewalk and sits on the grass, making a gesture with his head to Liam to sit down too. He seems hesitant for a moment, but ends up letting himself fall next to Harry.

"Okay, you first," Harry tries to smile, but he doesn't quite manage to.

"About last night," Liam starts, running a hand through his hair. "Can you not tell anyone? I just... I don't know why I did it. I mean, probably because I was drunk and I saw them bothering you, and then they started calling you names and I just... I lost it, I guess." He sighs and looks at the ground for a moment, ruffling his hair again.

Harry doesn't say anything, because Liam hasn't said much yet. He knows this part. The part where he was at the party at Jesy's house last night and those stupid guys from the other day with the flower crown somehow managed to get in. The part where they started calling him names and he almost ran away again, until Liam came out of nowhere and punched one of the guys right in the face, saying them next that he didn't want to see them around or near Harry again or they would be really sorry for that. Everything happened so fast that Harry was just standing there for most of it, not knowing how to react, what to do next. Liam was supposed to hate him and yet he was punching people just to defend Harry. No doubt he ended up being confused as hell.

"I mean, it's not like I'm sorry or anything, those fuckers deserve worst than that, but," Liam continues and sighs again. "I took boxing lessons some ages ago and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to punch people around? It's stupid and, you know, probably doesn't matter anymore, but, yeah."

"Oh. Oh, it was that. Okay, I... I won't tell anyone about it, don't worry. I wouldn't, probably, even if you hadn't asked," says Harry. It would be too complicated to tell, because he would have to explain why those guys were annoying him, about what, what was so terrible that Liam, sweet puppy-like Liam, punched someone. He has enough with Liam for now. Harry can feel him wondering what was actually going on and well, he did punch someone for him, so Harry kind of owns him some sort of explanation.

"Thanks," Liam says, a hint of a smile on his lips and wow, that's more than Harry has ever got since they know each other. "Your turn, now."

Harry takes a deep breath and talks as clear as he can.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did. Like, not for punching the guy, not for the action itself, I mean. But for, like, kind of standing up for me."

"It's not a big deal, anyone would've done the same," Liam shrugs.

"No, Liam, not anyone." Harry shakes his head a little, as if he's totally resigned, which he probably is. Most people are not nice, most people don't care. Most people would've laughed too instead of defending him.

Liam doesn't say anything back, just looks at him. Harry looks at him too and they stare at each other for what feels like forever. Harry is surprised by a lot of things today, like how he's talking with Liam alone for the first time in almost a month even when they've spent almost every day together; Liam taking boxing lessons, Liam standing up for him. Liam in general, maybe. But what surprises him the most is finding that Liam doesn't look sympathetic in the least, he looks like he understands Harry perfectly, like he  _knows._

They stay in silence for a while and it's not bad, it's not awkward altogether as one would think. It's not entirely nice, either, because there's about a million things Harry would like to ask Liam, but now that they seem to be about to get along, he doesn't want to scare him away.

"I thought you hated me, you know?" Harry says when the silence's reaching the awkward point.

"What? No! That's- Oh, god, no." Liam looks so terribly appalled, it's actually quite adorable. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, apart from the fact that you don't talk to me directly? Like, ever?" Harry is trying to contain his laugh, if he's being honest. Liam's face is just so priceless right now.

"I- That's not. I mean, I like you, why would I hate you? I'm just... awkward, you know, terribly so, actually. Around new people," he says and runs a hand through his hair.

"Fuck Zayn, he was right," Harry mutters. He knows Zayn is usually right about everything in life because Zayn is probably like a demi-god sent to this Earth to illuminate them all, but he didn't want him to be right on this one. He was so sure that Liam hated him. Now he's going to tell Zayn he was right and stand his awfully smug smile for hours. But it's not a big deal, he can survive that.

They go back to being quiet for another moment, just looking at the park around and the sky getting dark and glancing at each other from time to time. Again, Harry is not uncomfortable with the silence, but Liam looks like he's getting increasingly awkward just sitting there with him, so he thinks maybe it's not that bad of an idea to just start talking to Liam and asking him things until he knows everything he wants to know.

"I can't believe you actually punched a guy," Harry says, looking at Liam still in disbelief, but laughing a little anyways. "Wearing a flower crown, you punched a guy wearing a flower crown."

"Oh my god, you're right. What a picture that must have been. Oh god, I'm ridiculous." He takes his hands up and covers his face, shaking his head while Harry laughs for real now.   

And then, then it happens. Liam lets his hands go back to hold his ankles and looks at Harry, and he's smiling.  _He's smiling at Harry_ , only at Harry. He's smiling on purpose at Harry and it's one of the best things to ever happen to him. Maybe that's a little too much. But maybe not, because Liam is  _smiling_ at him and it's great. It's so bright and sincere and Harry can't help but grin back at him, and suddenly they are all crinkles and dimples and it's great.

Harry should think more about why it's so important that Liam is smiling at him. It's just a smile. And, okay, Liam is great and all, but. It's just Liam. It probably shouldn't be so important to Harry, it doesn't make much sense. But it is, and he doesn't want to ruin this whatever-it-is moment just because he's putting too much thought into it. Because that doesn't make sense either.

* * * *

It's late. So late. He's gonna be late for his first day of school if he doesn't hurry the fuck up. Well, maybe not for school, but for the important part of the day, which is breakfast with the guys at the little coffee shop Louis works at in week mornings.

He wouldn't be late if he hadn't stayed up until who knows what hour last night.

He has stayed at the park with Harry talking about every random thing they could think of until it was really dark and their respective phones started to sound with worried texts and calls from their moms. It's been great. Then he has gone home and taken a quick shower and found Harry was online so they ended up talking over the internet, again about random things like music and movies and favourite colours. (Orange and blue, noted.) When he looked at the clock on his nightstand, it was around 3am. Talking with Harry has been worth the whole oversleeping and having to run to the coffee shop, though. He's great. And Liam is so happy that he can actually manage to talk to him now. He's so relieved they're getting along. It was so stupid of him not being able to look at Harry for more than ten seconds without blushing and stuttering and wanting to disappear. But now it's all over and his awkwardness has faded away and talking with Harry until 3am was worth it, they have a lot of time to make up for.  

When he arrives at the coffee shop, they're all there already, including Harry, who looks fresh and awake and Liam is just a little bit jealous because he surely looks like hell. He can't know for real because he just took a glance at the mirror, there wasn't time for a closer inspection of his looks. The girls are immerse into some kind of deep discussion, but the boys all turn to him once he gets to the bar and he knows what's coming next, because he's never late for anything. So he won't see the end of this, at least for the week, or until he does something else they can take the piss for.

"Liam James Payne," starts Louis, taking a hand to his chest and widely opening his eyes. He looks funny with that face and the coffee shop apron, which for some reason is very, very pink. "I cannot believe this. You are late. You're late on our last first day of school breakfast!"

"You don't even go to school anymore!" Liam says, raising an eyebrow.

"So I'm not part of the group? I see how it is, Payne." Louis looks seriously offended and hurt and Liam can't help but roll his eyes.

"I didn't say that," he says, taking the free seat saved for him.

"Why are you late anyway?" asks Niall, around a mouthful of chocolate muffin.

"I know," Zayn says with his slightly crooked smile. "A little curly bird told me about your little walk in the park last night."

Liam doesn't know what Zayn means by that; you can't blame him, he just had like four hours or so of sleep and his mind is still slow. Something that will change as soon as he can drink the tea Louis just handed him. He takes a sip and scrunches his face in disgust. He should've known better, of course Lou is still trying to "teach" him how to drink his tea. Bitter as his heart, the little bastard keeps giving him tea with no sugar. He should be proud Liam doesn’t drink it with milk too anymore.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Harry can you hand me the sugar, please?"

Harry does, smiling, and Liam takes it smiling too. When he looks around, he finds nothing but surprised people everywhere. Louis' mouth has literally fallen open, Niall is eyeing them with his brows shot up in a mix of surprise and amusement and Zayn looks smug as hell, still smiling a bit. Even the girls have stopped talking and are looking at him. Liam is confused for a second and looks at Harry wondering what is happening _. Oh_ . Harry's happening. More like he-talking-to-Harry-and-smiling-at-him is happening. Oh.

"Oh, you're the little curly bird," he says and then turns to Zayn. "You meant him. Yeah, we've been talking. It was around time, wasn't it?" he says and shrugs, taking a sip of his now nicely sweet tea.

"We thought you'd never get over yourself and actually talk to him," Niall says, smiling widely and clapping a hand in Liam's shoulder.

"I can't believe this; you were late because of him! You're replacing me!" Louis says to Liam, closing his mouth finally. Again, he sounds serious and hurt, but Liam knows better. Louis has been trying to get him to make a bigger effort to talk to Harry for days now, so he can see the relief behind his acting.

Liam helps himself up leaning on the bar and kisses Louis' cheek. "I would never. You know you're my favourite." He knows he shouldn't encourage Louis to be the little shit he is sometimes, mostly to Liam, just to get attention, but the bright smile on his face when Liam backs out is all he cares about. And it gets him a muffin, so everything's good.

"Not to interrupt this beautiful moment, but this curly bird thinks we should get going?" says Harry, though he doesn't look too excited about it.

In fact, he looks like he's dreading it. Liam knows about that. Hell if he doesn't. This reminds him that he has meant to ask Harry about those guys on the party and some things he said after, when they were talking at the park. It hasn't seemed like the time to do so, however, so he didn't. For what Liam knows about Harry, and his own experience, he can imagine something. Which would suck if it was true. He will ask someday. Not today.

When he comes back to the real world, everyone is getting their stuff to leave and Louis is looking at him, with the worried look he reserves for Liam and school-related things. He tries his best to smile at him, but Louis knows him, he's an open book for Louis, he won't calm him with a poor attempt of a smile.

"You gonna be okay, Li?" he asks, the worry clear in his voice. Liam hates it, hates that Louis still worries like this about him, after all these years.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry so much."

He'll have to be, there's not much option. This is the first year since he transferred schools, back when he was twelve that he's going into the building without Louis holding his hand. It's been too long since the last time he's done this alone, but he'll be fine. Niall and the others are gonna be there too, everything will be fine. He'll make sure everything is fine for Louis' sake.

"'kay, good luck then," Lou sighs and shrugs a bit. He's not gonna be unconcerned until Liam gets back and tells him it was okay.

"See you later," Liam smiles reassuringly and waves at him while getting to the others, who are already leaving.

"Someone please hold Liam's hand for me and make sure he gets to his classes, yeah? Good luck lads!" That's the last thing they all hear before they cross the door and get outside.

 

 

The walk to the school isn't long, which is good because if it was longer, Harry would have too much time to freak out and possibly run away. So it's good it's a short distance. He can do this. He only needs to distract himself for fifteen minutes and then face a whole day in a new school with new people and a hundred classes, easy pie. He can do this, he'll be fine. He's been repeating that to himself since he woke up this morning, but still doesn't believe it. So he needs a distraction right now.

He looks up from the ground and notices he has stayed a little behind the others, who are talking and laughing animatedly not that far away. Except Liam, who's walking almost by his side. Liam could distract him, right? He has distracted Harry last night, after all, long enough that he barely got any sleep. Besides, there's something that's been at the back of Harry's mind and this moment seems as good as any other to ask Liam about it.

"So Louis seemed pretty worried about you," he says, getting to Liam's side and following his pace.

"Hm? Oh, yeah."

It's obvious Harry hasn't been the only one getting lost in his own mind.

"Can I ask why?" Harry says, fidgeting with the strips of his backpack. He really hopes it's not too soon to ask Liam some personal questions.

Liam stays quiet for a few moments, biting his bottom lip nervously. It looks like he's considering something, probably if he can trust Harry? Harry would like to tell him that he's pretty good at listening, that he can trust him. He finds himself dying for Liam to trust him and it bemuses him a bit. At the end, Liam sighs and starts talking again.

"Remember I told you yesterday about those boxing lessons?" Harry nods and Liam continues. "Well, I started taking them when I was around thirteen because there were some, uhm, some guys. At school."

"Oh," says Harry, wincing, imperceptibly he hopes. He knows what's coming next; he's been in Liam's place. For way too long. He knows what's coming. So he wasn't wrong when he thought Liam understood him in a different way.

"They didn't like me, for some reason. So they started by telling me a lot of things, was that way for a year or so. When things started to get really heavy and more, uhm, physical, I decided to take boxing lessons, to at least being able to defend myself." Liam looks anywhere but his way, and Harry hates himself a little because he's feeling a little happy inside. Liam is definitely trusting him with something huge. He's trusting Harry. He's trusting Harry with something that Harry himself hasn't trust to anyone yet, not even Zayn.

"And Lou?"

"Lou's always been there, you know. Always. Since forever. He's been with me through all that shit, literally holding my hand sometimes." Liam pauses for a moment, but Harry just waits until he keeps talking. "He doesn't look like the worrying type, but he is. So even if there hasn't been any incident in the last two years, he's worried if it starts happening again he won't be around to take care of me."

"So the holding your hand and make sure you get to classes was a literal ask?" Harry says, smiling, trying to lighten up the mood. He's being selfish, actually. He was able to guess at least part of this with a few looks at Liam last night; he doesn't want Liam to do the same with him. He's not ready to talk about it yet.

"Totally," Liam rolls his eyes and he's smiling again, looking at Harry. "It's okay now, though. Nothing happened in two years. The guys are here. We're the oldest in school now. The cool people, right?"

They look at the lads ahead and then back at each other and both burst out laughing at the same time. They can see themselves as cool people, but none of them thinks cool really applies to them at all.

"What about you, Harry? You look kind of nervous." Liam looks at him and Harry knows what's he asking, but can't bring himself to tell exactly what's going on in his head. Which is pretty shitty from his part, because Liam opened up to him after all.

"New school and all," it's all he says, shrugging it off just when the school comes into view.

It saves him for more questions, at least for now, so it's not that much of a bad view after all.

* * * *

As it turns out, school is not that bad. Louis is not there, sure, and that part sucks, but it's not as bad as Liam has thought in first place. Classes are okay. The other kids don't annoy them, because they _are_ the oldest ones, and nobody wants to mess with them. Liam suspects it's just because they hang out with the girls, but he'll take it anyways.

What's really great about school, he discovers with great joy, are the lads. He knows Zayn and Niall are great and he loves them so much, but he never thought Harry would be this great. They have almost every class together and it's great. He makes classes ten times more bearable. He's funny and nice and Liam doesn't understand how he spent three weeks not talking to him, such a waste of time.

They're making up for it, though. Somehow, they end up spending every possible moment together. They get together to study after classes because Liam needs someone to keep him focused and Harry needs someone who knows how this school works, so it's good for both. They have lunch all together. Sometimes they go out to have lunch with Louis, or Lou goes there and they have lunch at the school yard. It's nice.

It's incredible that a month has passed already. It's passed rather quickly, without any of them really realising it.

Liam has a free period now, lunch is not even close and he's bored. He should be studying for his next class, but he needs to find Harry first. He can't be too far away. Liam has already checked the library, the common room and the usual place where they sit outside on sunny days. Harry's nowhere to be found. He checks there's no one around and takes his phone out, dialling Harry's number. He's passing by one of the boys’ loos, the one nobody uses much because it's the farthest one, when he hears Harry's ringtone. It's coming from inside the room.

"Harry?" he asks, getting in. He stops for a moment and hears a light sob. "Harry?" he asks again, kneeling down on the floor and watching if there's anyone in the stalls. He finds Harry sitting on the floor in the last one. "Harry, are you okay?"

Liam mentally slaps himself, because it's obvious Harry's not okay. His mind is flooding with hundreds of different ideas of what could have happened. He hopes it's nothing too serious, but for the sobs coming from the stall, he feels his hopes getting punch in the stomach.

"Haz, please talk to me," he tries one more time, and the use of the nickname seems to work, because Harry stops sobbing and starts talking.

"I just. It's so stupid, you know? I'm stupid," Harry says, and his voice sounds wobbly, like he's been crying.

"I don't know what happened, but it's not stupid if it got you like this, Haz." Liam sits on the floor, leaning against the wall, as close to the stall as he can get.

"It's just, I mean. It didn't even happen to me." Harry sighs and he sounds like he's trying to calm himself down. "I saw some guys bothering another one. Like, I think they were hitting him, Liam," Harry's breath hitches at the end and another sob resonates on the room.

Liam is silent for a moment, some memories appearing in his mind. He tries his best to keep them on line and bury them again, deep where they belong. He has to focus on Harry right now, he needs him.

"That can be hard to watch," he says, trying to control his voice so Harry doesn't notice how this is affecting him. Harry probably knows, though.

"No, but, I mean," Harry sighs again. "I've been there, I've been that kid. I didn't think it could affect me so much, watch it from outside." He stays quiet for a moment. “Remember those guys at the party? Well, it wasn't the first time they hassle me. And it wasn't the first time in my life someone did that."

"I know. I mean, I thought it wasn't. Been there too, remember?" Liam says, taking a deep breath. People suck sometimes.

"I think it was similar to what happened to you? With me, I mean. There were these guys and they didn't like me, they started saying mean things because I was kind of a weirdo. Then when they realised I was gay, everything got more, uhm, complicated." Another sob. Liam can tell just by Harry's voice that this is being very hard to tell. He surprises himself with how much he wants to reach for Harry and hug him close.

"Complicated as in, uhm, hitting you?" Liam has to force the word out of his mouth.

"No, I mean, not really. They used to lock me in very small places, loos and broom closets," he continues. "They didn't hit me because that would leave marks, they told me that once." Harry chuckles and it sounds so bitter and so wrong coming from him. Liam is absolutely sure that Harry is one of those people that should have every reason to be happy and laugh for real.

"Did you ever say anything?" Liam doesn't want to pry, but he also wants to know, almost needs to.

"Not at first. Then I told my sister and she told my mom. She talked with the principal, but he didn't listen. He said it was 'just a children thing' and never did anything about it." That sounds so familiar to Liam that he can't help the eye roll that comes. "Then, around the end of the last school year, I don't know what happened, I don't know what I did to piss them off more than usual, but... They hit me. They just came to me and punched me really hard and... It was like a breaking point. My mom didn't let me go back to school after that and she and Robin decided it would be better if we just left the city and came back here." There's something that sounds like a sniff. "Now I'm here. And I saw those guys doing that to that other kid and instead of doing something to help him, I'm here sobbing like an idiot, like the coward I am."

"Don't ever say that again, Harry," Liam says, and he surprises himself with how upset he sounds. "You're not a coward, you're not an idiot. What happened to you sucks, so much, it's so unfair. And I know it's awful to watch it happen to someone else and to be so scared you're unable to help them, but that doesn't make you a coward."

"You did hit those guys for me at the party, though," Harry says.

"Because I was drunk. I would probably have done the same thing as you if I had been sober. I would have run to hide under my bed or something," Liam says. He would, he's completely sure. He would probably run to hide behind Louis and cry on his shoulder.

There's no response from Harry. Liam knows he doesn't believe him. It's hard to believe at first, when the wound is still so fresh, that you're not the one with the problem. That the ones being wrong are all those people out there who think they are better than others and therefore have the right to do whatever they want; the ones out there who think it's only a 'children thing', the ones that minimize it.

"Does anyone else know?" he asks, after a moment.

"I told Zayn, after the first day of school. I was kinda freaking out back then, too." Harry pauses for a second and then adds, "Liam? Please don't tell anyone, please."

"I won't, don't worry," he replies with a sigh. "Harry. You're gonna be okay, you know? This will stop hurting at some point, sooner or later."

Again, Harry doesn't say anything and Liam knows it's because the same reason as before. Harry doesn't believe him. He didn't believe Louis, or his dad, or his sisters, back when he was going through the same thing. It's so hard to believe you're gonna be fine when everything around you seems to tell you otherwise.

But Liam needs Harry to see it, needs him to understand, because it's so unfair he has to go through this shit. Liam needs to convince him he's gonna be okay but knows that spoken words don't have any meaning sometimes, so he does what he sometimes did to himself, or with Lou when he didn't find the way to speak. He reaches from under the door for Harry's hand, which is resting on the floor, and forces him to extend his arm as much as he can without hurting him. He starts writing the letters onto Harry's palm with the pad of his finger. I-T-S-G-O-N-N-A-B-E-O-K-A-Y.

Liam hears a last sob before Harry takes his hand back and opens the door of the stall. His face is still a little wet and his usually clear eyes look red and clouded, and it breaks Liam's heart. They look at each other for a brief second, and Liam opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off by Harry throwing himself at him, hugging his neck like a life line. Liam lets out a breath he didn't realise he was holding and curls his arms around Harry, holding him very close.

They are going to be okay.

* * * *

He's arriving late, but well, he was working. And he's the only one that works out of them, so they can't tell him anything, right? Bunch of lazy idiots his mates are. He gets to their regular table and stands with his hands on his hips, looking around.

"Harold, you're on my seat," he says, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You can sit somewhere else, Lou," Liam says. He clearly doesn't understand.

"No, Liam, he's on my place."

"We can move if you love this seat so much" Liam's clearly confused and still not getting what this whole problem is about.

Harry doesn't even reply, just blinks at him looking all innocent, the little shit.

"No, Liam. He's sitting on your lap. I remember I claimed you as my personal seat when we were like seven." It's incredible he has to explain this.

Which is more incredible is how everyone laughs at him, as if he doesn't have a point here. He does remember doing so. And it's not fair that this cute boy with curls and dimples comes one day and steals  _his_ Liam from him, Louis won't stand for this. Okay, maybe no one is stealing anything from him, because it takes way more than a few dimples to make Liam replace him, right? Right? Anyway, it's better if he leaves everything clear.

But Harry is not laughing, he's looking back at Louis like he's actually offended him. It's awful, because Louis didn't mean to make him sad. Sad Harry is not a nice picture to look at. He goes to stand up and leave Liam's lap, but Liam curls an arm around his waist and keeps him in place.

"No, Haz, you came first," he says and looks at Louis with his unspoken  _what are you doing_ on his eyes.

"Actually, I came first. To life in general," Louis says, sitting in front of them and narrowing his eyes. There's something else going on here, he can sense it.

After that, they retake the conversation they were having when Louis arrived, but he's not paying too much attention. He thinks they're talking about something that happened in school anyways and they don't want to hear his opinion about Mr Adams, not again.

He directs his attention to the way more intriguing topic that is Liam and Harry. He notices some interesting things, like how Liam's arm has stayed firmly around Harry's waist. Harry's arm casually thrown over Liam's shoulder. Liam giggling almost onto Harry's neck. How they look at each other sometimes and start giggling out of nowhere, like they know what the other is thinking; or how sometimes Harry whispers something in Liam's ear and Liam blushes just the slightest bit. They look a lot like...  Like a couple, Louis realises. They look like Perrie and Zayn when they first started to orbit around each other, before they started dating. It's disgustingly heart warming. Which, well, he didn't expect that.

It's confusing. Leaving aside the fact that like two months ago, Liam couldn't even look at Harry without having a kind of crisis about his lack of social skills, Liam doesn't usually do this. The physical contact, for example. It takes a lot more of time for Liam to be comfortable enough around someone to accept this kind of closeness, in general. At least it's been like that with Niall and Zayn. But he doesn't seem uncomfortable with Harry, quite the opposite, he looks... happy? Which, Louis is not complaining, there's nothing he wants more in this life than see Liam being all happy and smiley like now, but. It's confusing. They look like a couple, and he knows Liam, terribly well. If Liam realised what he and Harry look like, he'd probably be freaking out, because that's what Liam does.

Another thing Liam does on a regular basis, is not realise anything at all. He can be so blind sometimes, it's incredible. He can overlook the most obvious things, even the most obvious things about himself. So it wouldn't really surprise Louis if Liam liked Harry and wanted to snog the hell out of his dimples but haven't realised. Yet.

"Hey, Lou." Liam's voice brings him back to Earth. "Don't get lost."

"Right, sorry." He shakes his head a bit and looks at the others. "Are we still talking about Mr Adams? Because I have a ton of shit to say about him."

He'll have to do something about Liam. Maybe he should talk to him and make him see what Louis has already figured out in ten minutes of staring.

* * * *

Liam wakes up because someone is breathing on his face. He grunts, he was happily asleep, there's no need for him to be woken up. He first thinks it's Loki that somehow got inside the house and went to annoy him, probably until Liam gets up and goes play with him outside. On a second thought, it doesn't feel like Loki, more like something human-shape. He opens an eye and finds a mass of curls looking at him from an almost inexistent distance. He's not proud of how his heart jumps at the picture.

"Hello," Harry says, leaning back and chewing happily on a cookie. "Your mom said you were upstairs and she gave me a cookie. I have one for you too." He extends his arm and puts the cookie almost onto Liam's face.

Liam turns onto his front and grunts again. He feels Harry falling on top of him and opens his eyes again just because he can't scowl if they're closed.

"C'mon, Li, I brought you cookies."

"No, my mom gave you those. Doesn't count as bring if they are mine."

He turns around again, onto his back, with Harry still lying on top of him. They both shift a bit so Harry's head is on the pillow too and his elbow is not on Liam's side. It should be extra uncomfortable to be like this, but somehow it isn't, at all. They fall into place perfectly.

"What's up?" he asks, yawning.

"I was bored. And Zayn is with Perrie. And I don't know where Niall is. And Louis is probably working." Harry stretches and grabs his half-eaten cookie from the nightstand, ignoring the face Liam makes.

"So not only you come here just because you were bored but I'm also your last option. I see how it is," Liam turns his head dramatically, trying to look offended.

"Of course you're not!" He pouts and pokes Liam's cheek. "I like you better."

Liam smiles at that and turns to look at Harry again. "You only like me because my mom gives you cookies."

"Well, yes, Liam, of course." He jokingly rolls his eyes and smiles at Liam too. "Entertain me, Payno."

"Sorry, but you woke me up and my mom gave you cookies, you entertain me," Liam says and absentmindedly pokes Harry's dimple.

It's a nice dimple. Liam really likes Harry's dimples. And his curls. And his face in general, it's a good face. With the dimples and bright smile and the green eyes and his cute nose. Harry in general is nice. And cute, most of the times. (Always.) His lips look nice too, but one doesn't think that about their friends, right? It's weird, because sometimes Liam finds himself thinking those kind of things about Harry, like how kissable his lips look, or how pretty he looks wearing that shirt, or how nice his curls are with the headscarf, or how good it feels to just be lying like this with him, and it doesn't feel like it's wrong, it mostly feels strange, like there's something Liam isn't seeing or getting right. Which wouldn't surprise him in the least, not getting something the way he should get it.

"Li, are you listening?"

Liam snaps back to reality and wonders for how long he's been staring at Harry, creepily probably. "What? Uhm, sorry, something about a movie?"

"The Avengers?"

"Right, yes. Cool," he smiles at Harry and looks at him for a moment before he gets up to set everything up.

While Liam sets the DVD and gets more pillows, Harry goes to get some snacks. They sprawl together in bed when everything's ready and within five minutes, Harry is already all curled up on Liam. It's nice, being like this. One of those moments Liam wishes could last for way longer than they do. And without interruptions, which he doesn't get, because Louis starts texting him. And he can't not text back. He doesn't even want to remember the last time he didn't reply to Louis, he surely regretted it.

He feels Harry looking at him from time to time, mostly when he's with the phone. It must be annoying him because Liam keeps moving. By the time Tony Stark is telling Loki that they have a Hulk, Harry incorporates and looks at Liam. Liam is afraid he's upset or something, but he doesn't look angry.

"Li, can I ask you something?" He says softly, like he doesn't want to raise his voice too much after so long of being quiet with only the movie's sound.

"Sure, ask away."

"You were texting Lou, right?" Liam nods. "Can I... I mean, I don't want to meddle or anything, but, uhm." He worries his bottom lip for a moment, looking uncertain and Liam can't imagine what he wants to ask. "Are you together? Like, together  _together_ ?" He certainly wasn't expecting that.

Liam is very confused, both by the question and because it's Harry asking. First, Harry never seemed too interested in Liam's love life. Second, Louis?

Then he stops for a moment, and realises that it actually makes sense. Sort of. Because he's with Louis all the time, and when they aren't together, they are texting each other. Liam spends a lot of time just hanging out at Louis' jobs and sometimes Louis goes to school to have lunch with them and probably Harry thinks it's to have lunch with Liam. They are always all over each other. It makes sense that Harry thinks that; which doesn't make any sense is that he thinks Liam wouldn't tell him or any of the others. 

"We are not," he says, serious. It'd be easier to convince Harry if he didn't take this long to answer. Guessing for Harry's raised brows and disbelieving face, he's not buying it. "He's just my friend. There's nothing more. Why would you ask, anyway?"

"Well, you're always together. Or doing this," Harry says, gesturing in the general direction of Liam's hands and phone. "And, I don't know, he's always sitting on you. And Zayn told me that Louis told him that he hates me because I'm stealing you from him or something and that I'm a bad person that should be cut off of the group. I assume that's Louis being jealous so... So I thought that, like, maybe you had something," he shrugs, looking at Liam like he's trying to read him.

“That is, indeed, Louis being jealous of me talking with other people."

"But he's waiting for you to go to college together," Harry says, tilting his head a bit as if he's trying to put everything together in his mind. It's making Liam very nervous.

"He's- He's not waiting for me. Sure, we want to go to the same college, but he's not waiting for me. He's working and saving up, he's waiting for money." Is this how people think it is between him and Louis? Really? "And believe me, if we had something, you would know. Louis can't keep his hands to himself when he's dating someone," Liam says, making a disgruntled face.

Harry shrugs again and they stay in silence for a moment. Liam could tell him, about that time, but it still feels so weird that he's talking about this with Harry. They talk a lot, all the time, but they've never talked about relationships or crushes or anything related to that. That's even weirder, they're friends, and they should talk about it. Maybe.

"We had something. Once," Liam starts and Harry looks at him, with a clear  _I knew it_ face. "I mean, I realised I like boys because I liked him. Or I thought so."

"You thought so?"

"Yeah, I mean. I thought I liked him, eventually I told him, we kissed," Liam sighs and tries to leave his hands quiet, he's moving them way too much to explain this. It's incredible how it's still this uncomfortable to talk about the whole Louis situation. "And it was awful, it felt like kissing a brother, like we were doing something very bad. We tried twice and the second time was even worse." He shivers a bit, remembering the moment.

Harry looks seriously at him for a second and then burst out laughing. He's laughing so much that he loses balance and falls on top of Liam, his eyes watery. Liam doesn't really know what's he laughing at, but assumes it's probably his face telling that story. Niall had laughed this lot too, back when they told him.

In that moment, Louis comes into the room and stands by the door frame, with a hand still on the knob, and looks at them with a raised eyebrow. They look back at him and Harry starts laughing again, while Liam shrugs and looks at Harry with a little smile playing in his lips. It's just that Harry looks rather adorable laughing like this.

"Hello, boys," he says, then gets to the bed and sits. He's looking at them funny, Liam thinks. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Nothing at all," Harry says, incorporating and wiping a tear away.

"Great," Louis looks at Liam for a moment and then adds, "then you can go, Harold. I need Liam."

"But we were watching the movie!" Liam protests. Who's Louis to come to his house and kick people out? Right, he's Louis.

"No, you weren't."

"It's okay, Li, if he needs you," Harry makes a face at him and Liam knows what's he thinking. This isn't helping to the we-are-not-together thing.

Harry takes his things, says his goodbye and leaves them alone. Liam watches him go, and then turns to Louis, confused, who's looking back at him all soft now. That only confuses Liam more, because until a second ago, he looked rather fierce. Or something not nice.

"What happened?" Liam asks, uncomfortable under Louis' gaze.

"That's what you have to tell me, Liam. What's going on?" He crawls up the bed and sits against the headboard, looks at Liam like he's waiting for an explanation, but Liam doesn't know what the explanation should be about.

"Going on with what?" Why is Louis acting stranger than usual?

"With you and our young Harold, Liam."

"We were watching a movie," Liam says, still not getting where Louis is trying to go.

"No, babe, I know that. I mean what's going on between you two," says Louis, with that voice he uses when he's trying to explain something to his little sisters.

It's also the voice he uses when he's trying to make Liam realise he's being daft, which happens quite often. Liam tends to overlook things, or not realise what's happening in front of his eyes; tends to get things the wrong way or not clear enough. Louis has to make him realise those things, has to make him think things. It's usually him who sits patiently with Liam until he comes around his mind, even when they're things he should notice alone. He's glad Lou's stuck around all this time; he'd be so lost without him. Still, Liam doesn't have a clue what Louis' going on about. He guesses there's something he should be seeing but isn't, but doesn't know what.

"Lou, I'm not following." Liam runs a hand through his hair and tries to think. It's always so stressing when Louis acts so mysterious.

"I mean, you two are spending a lot of time together." Liam has a flashback to less than an hour ago, when Harry said something similar. "I come in and find him all over you..." and oh.

Oh. It's like the talk with Harry all over again, but with swapped roles. Liam would laugh if he wasn't so confused. He hates being this confused all the time, but can't really help it. The world works in strange ways and he can't keep up. So Louis is trying to say there's something going on between him and Harry. Something  love-related. Why?

"You know, it's funny, he was asking me the same thing, but about you," he chuckles a bit. "And I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him, there's nothing going on."

"Liam, babe. You don't stare at the door longingly when I leave a place."

"I don't do that," he replies, frowning.

"You do. You're always looking at him and staring and you fucking smile without a reason sometimes. All soft and disgusting while looking at him," Louis says, scrunching up his nose.

Liam doesn't do that, does he? But if Louis is telling him so, he may be doing it without realising. He sighs and goes to curl next to Louis, still frowning and with an imminent pout on his face.

"So you think I like Harry?" he asks, looking up at Lou, who hums and nods.

Liam thinks about it, really thinks about it. Maybe it's true. Objectively, he knows Harry is a fit guy. He suddenly remembers when he woke up earlier, how he has spent a fair moment staring at Harry thinking about his lips and how pretty his dimples are. But that's not what Liam likes best about Harry. Liam likes how Harry laughs sometimes, clutching his stomach like he has to hold himself up. Liam likes Harry's awful knock-knock jokes and how he always laughs at them like they're the best fucking thing in the universe. Liam likes how Harry usually looks like a sleepy kitten, and when he tells stories that last forever because he tells them with extreme detail and a terrible slow pace. How Harry turns to look at him sometimes and just smiles. How they have a lot of things in common but differ a lot at the same time. How he has made his slow way to Liam's heart overstepping his initial awkwardness. Oh. Fuck. He does like Harry. For real, in a love-related way, not like just a friend.

"Oh god. I'm screwed," he says, his eyes widening while he looks at Louis, realisation washing over him.

"Yes, babe, you are." Louis smiles happily at him and tangles a hand in his hair to stroke it lightly, soothingly. Liam just grunts and buries himself on Louis' neck. Fuck.

* * * *

It’s been a big mistake. Massive. He shouldn't have said to the guys that his mom and her husband would be out of town for a few days to go visit Gemma. He shouldn't have. Because his mom has specifically said "no parties" and now he has a house full of people, drinking and with the music dangerously close to being heard by the annoying lady from across the street. She's calling his mom, surely. Or worst, she's calling the police and the police are calling his mom and oh, god, he's grounded.

"Liam, Liam. Li. Is this considered a party? Do ten people count as a party? They don't, do they?" he asks, panicking. There's even people he doesn't know.

"I'm pretty sure you can't consider this a party," Liam replies, with his characteristic cute frown, turning a little from where he's sitting on the floor next to Harry to face him. 

"But there're people I don't know."

"Harry, there's only one person you don't know."

Harry sighs because, well, yes, there's only Ashton, Niall's cousin from Australia, who he has met an hour ago. He's said he's half Irish, but no one has really believed him. He can hold his beer as good as Niall, though, so maybe he has a point. Also, Liam is right; you can't consider your house is "full of people" when there're only ten people there. Just the boys and the girls. And they're his friends, so his mom can't be upset about it, right?

"Stop worrying so much, I can hear your inner freak out over the music," Liam says, smiling fondly, and ruffles his curls a bit.

"Hey, don't mess with the curls!"

"I would never!" Liam takes his hand to his chest and feigns solemnity. "But, seriously, Haz, it's just us, don't worry. Everything's fine," Liam smiles sincerely and it's all it takes to calm Harry down completely. It's like Liam's smile has a magic power to make everything better in a second; it's quite impressive, if you ask Harry. He hopes no one does, though; it'd be a little awkward and difficult to explain how much light Liam's smile brings to his life.

His Liam's Smile Appreciation Moment is cut off by Louis landing on top of him, pushing a beer into his hands, with a huge smile on his face that says he's already had his good share of those. Harry takes a long sip from the bottle, totally unaffected by Lou climbing more and more over him, curling on his lap like a kitten. He's learnt quite quickly to let Louis do whatever he wants, because nothing good comes from trying to stop him. Besides, it's nice, he likes Lou, and it's kind of an achievement to have him show his affection in this unharmful way, instead of all the biting he usually does.

Louis doesn't seem to want to move any time soon, so they stay like that for a while. Louis is all curled up on Harry, Harry nursing his beer. He sees from the corner of his eye Liam is standing up, and he can't help but following him with his eyes, watching him sitting with the others and getting another beer. Harry feels a little like a creep, watching Liam from a corner, but he can't stop. Liam's laugh is so loud and sincere, it's captivating. He's probably laughing at something Niall said. No, wait. He's laughing at something  _Ashton_ said. For some inexplicable reason, he doesn't like that. He sees them smiling and laughing together and has this urgent need to go sit with Liam too, more like on Liam, make him remember whose dimples are best. But he won't, he can't, because Liam is not his, right? He can laugh with whoever he wants. And Harry's not jealous or anything. Maybe a little, but only because of the dimples. And maybe because he's a drummer. And Liam saying he was into drummers that time has nothing to do with it, it's just that Harry always wanted to play an instrument and drums seems cool, but instead he can barely do guitar. Anyway, he's not jealous.

"Stop staring," Louis says onto his neck, where he's been nested for at least ten minutes now.

" 'm not staring," Harry replies and finishes his beer in one last gulp.

Louis lifts his head up and bores his blue eyes into Harry's. Harry makes his best to maintain the eye contact, but it's hard; he feels rather uncomfortable with Louis looking at him like he's trying to read his soul. "You're jealous," he finally says and okay, maybe he can read his soul or something. Fuck.

"I am not, why would I be jealous? There's nothing to be jealous of. Liam is probably jealous," Harry says, looking over at Liam again, just for a second. "You know, with you jumping on me and all."

"That... could actually be true." Louis narrows his eyes and tilts his head to the side, like he's considering it seriously.

"You should've gone with him." After all, Liam did leave when Louis threw himself onto Harry's lap. He knows Liam has told him there was nothing between him and Louis, but Harry has troubles believing that sometimes. Besides, what other reason could Liam have to leave like that?

"What, no. That's not... That-" Louis cuts himself and it feels like there's something he wants to say to Harry, but finally doesn't. "Whatever," he sighs. "Let's get some shots and light up this party."

 

He's drunk. Terribly so, he reckons. His mind feels numb, his face feels numb, his hands feel numb. Everything feels numb. He remembers things, though, which is good. Maybe. He hasn't decided just yet.

He remembers being with Harry, talking, until Louis has threw himself at him. He knows that's Louis being Louis, he throws himself at people, he gets cuddly when drunk, he likes it when people pay attention to him and if they don't, he knows how to get it. So he knows that's just Lou being himself, but the fact that Harry has stopped paying any attention to him when Louis came made him feel really upset, so he has left.

He remembers talking with Ashton - and laughing and drinking, a lot of drinking. Good lad. Cool. Drummer. Dimples. For a moment he thought he could really like Ashton, like  _like_ him. But then he looked around, and saw Harry (with Louis curl up around him, still stung a bit). He couldn't lie to himself; the dimples directed at him from his side were the wrong kind of dimples. He has never thought there was such thing as a right kind of dimples until he met Harry. Harry's dimples are the right kind of dimples.

He also remembers taking shots with... Well, he's pretty sure the ten of them were taking shots at some point. He may have taken more than one. That would explain the dizziness he's feeling.

The last thing he remembers is Louis yelling and dragging them all to play Spin the Bottle, as if they were twelve. He first got Louis, who didn't kiss him as much as he licked his face, because he can be a disgusting little shit when he wants to. Then, it was Jade. They both blushed a lot. It was adorable, according to Perrie. Last, it was Ashton. It was nice, kind of. He didn't put much thought into it. He was actually kind of busy being confused about Harry's face. He's seemed kind of... upset? Liam couldn't really tell, he was way too drunk to make out if it was reality or just his stupid wishful imagination.

He sighs and goes back to the reality, noticing just then that Leigh Anne is sitting next to him, on the corner he has claimed as his a few moments ago, when everything looked like it was spinning.

"What are you doing here by yourself, Li?" she asks sweetly, like she's talking with a little kid. Liam is not a little kid, he's drunk, and you can't be a kid and drink. He's not a kid.

"I needed to sit down for a bit. Everything was spinning."

She giggles a little at that, still looking at him like he's an overgrown child. He might be one, he definitely feels like one sometimes. But he's drunk, so he can't be a child.

"Louis sent me to check on you. Even when awfully drunk, he still cares about everyone. And he's still the bossy fucker he always is."

Liam hums in agreement to everything she says, and closes his eyes when her hand finds his hair to pet lightly for a moment. It feels heavenly. He loves Leigh Anne, she's amazing. He also loves Louis, always taking care of him, even if it's through others. They stay like that for a few minutes, or maybe a second, Liam can't be sure. Eventually, she stops petting his hair and he opens his eyes, looking at her ready to pout.

"You have curls," he says instead, looking at her curls like it's the first time he sees them.

"I do, yeah," she says, smiling.

"It's the wrong type of curls, though," he sounds sad, looking at the floor. He realises what's he said and snaps his head back up to look at her in horror because she's surely offended. He went and insulted Leigh Anne's curls and she's offended and she surely hates him now because no one insults Leigh-fucking-Anne's curls. Never. He's about to start apologizing when he sees her face. She doesn't seem upset; in fact, her face keeps the same sweet smile from before. And she looks... sympathetic? Liam could know better if his system wasn't drowning in alcohol.

"I know, love, I know," she says and pets Liam's head for a bit more before she drops her hand completely, down to his cheek and gives it a little pat. "Let's find the right curls then, yeah?" She takes his hand and forces him to stand up.

He lets her drag him through the house, trying not to put much thought into the fact that she seems to know everything, because she's clearly guiding him to Harry. It must be so obvious. He must be the most obvious person in this fucking world. He can picture himself in his mind looking at Harry with actual heart-eyes and all. It doesn't matter though, right now; he's way past the caring point. He will probably care - and hate himself a little - in the morning.

They go back to the living room, where Niall and Louis are arguing over sleeping there or taking over Harry's room, while Perrie and Zayn cuddle in a corner of the couch and Jade and Jesy use Ashton as their personal pillow. Nice group. Liam loves them. They're probably the best group of people he could have asked for. But there's no Harry here, so it's not the place he wants to be right now.

They eventually find Harry in the kitchen, and before Liam can react to anything, Leigh Anne has pushed him in Harry's direction and gone away, leaving the two of them alone. He suddenly doesn't know what to do with himself. He's too drunk to deal with this, with all the warm and fuzzy feelings inside his chest every time he sees Harry. At the same time, he's not nearly drunk enough. Life's hard.

"Hey," he says, getting to Harry's side to see what he’s doing over his shoulder. He has the great idea of resting his chin there.

"'llo."

"Why are you alone here?" Liam asks and moves to go sit on the counter. He doesn't really trust his legs that much when he's drunk.

"I feel a hangover coming already and I need tea," Harry replies and just then Liam notices the cup and the boiling water.

He could use a tea too. Harry just looks at him and goes to get another cup. He's the greatest ever. Liam didn't even have to say anything. He can't really help the grin that breaks into his face, can he.

They stay in silence while they wait for the water to be ready. Liam tries to look away, but he can't. He can't take his eyes off of Harry. It must be really creepy. And quite giving away. Again, he's way too drunk to care, even if he can feel his dizziness starting to fade and his mind getting clearer.

When tea is ready, Harry hands him his cup and then sits next to him on the counter, leaning against his shoulder. It feels nice, being like this. Frighteningly domestic. And warm. Liam feels so warm inside. They drink their tea in silence too, because there's no need to talk. Liam opens his mouth a few times, but it seems like he's gonna break something if even a single word is said.

After a while, way after the noises stopped completely at the living room and the tea is gone, Liam feels Harry's breathing starting to even out. He would be really happy to let Harry use his shoulder as his personal pillow, or any other part of his body, really, but he figures it can't be too comfortable to sleep in this position. So he shakes Harry the slightest bit and jumps down from the counter, turning to look at the other boy. Liam has never in his life seen someone who looks like a sleepy kitten as much as Harry does right now. It's utterly endearing and adorable and every other nice word. Harry's all that words in one person.

"Let's get you to bed, yeah?" he says, tucking a lock of hair back behind Harry's ear.

He's worried it's too much touching and that he's being too obvious and that Harry will get upset about it, but Harry just nods sleepily and gets down the counter too, stamping himself against Liam's side and burying his head on Liam's neck. And okay, he can live whit this.

He has to practically carry Harry upstairs, but somehow Liam manages to get them both to the room without falling. There, they find quite a picture. Harry's room is huge, they all know that, but Liam never thought it'd be big enough for ten people to sleep in without being literally one on top of each other. Well, they are all sleeping kind of on a pile of human limbs, but only because they want to. Perrie is literally sleeping on Zayn; Louis and Niall are cuddling on the couch (yes, Harry’s room is big enough to fit a couch); Jesy and Jade are still using Ashton as their personal pillow and Leigh Anne is using Jade as such, the four of them on a big mattress. The bed is empty. In some far corner of his mind, Liam thinks Louis had a lot to do with the fact that the only available place for Liam to sleep in is on Harry's bed, right next to him. He'll worry about it in the morning, though, when he's not being dragged by a very insistent Harry to said bed.

"C'mon, Li, bed," Harry mumbles, getting to the bed and making Liam lay down.

As soon as they're both settled, Harry curls up on his side and nuzzles at his neck.

"That tickles," Liam giggles and tries to get away, but Harry won't let him. He's wrapped himself around Liam surprisingly tight for someone who's drunk and almost asleep already.

"Can I ask you something, Li?" He says, almost whispering.

"Sure, Haz."

"You sure there's nothing going on between you and Lou?"

This has happen already, in a similar position and all. Why is happening again, Liam can't tell.

"I'm sure, there's nothing. I told you already," he sighs, getting more comfortable.

"Li?" Harry says after a moment, sounding like he's a second away to be asleep.

"Yes?" Liam is making an extra effort to keep himself awake. Harry’s breathing on his neck is helping with that.

"Do you like Ashton's dimples more than you like mine?" He sounds so much like a five-year-old that Liam laughs out loud, trying to keep it as low as possible because he's not fancying having to deal with drunk sleep deprived mates right now, but unable to stop himself.

"'course not!" he says, tangling his fingers in Harry's curls and petting lightly. "You're my favourite, Haz."

“Good,” Harry slurs, which means he’s almost asleep already. He stretches next to plant a light kiss on Liam’s jaw. “You’re my favourite too.”

 

* * * *

They've been in this exact same position countless of times already, since he came back to the city. Zayn sitting crossed leg on his bed, drawing something on his sketchpad and smoking a cig, Harry lying somewhere, either the bed or the floor. Today's the floor, and he's eating a banana. Bananas are good. Bananas can take a lot of time to eat so you don't have to face the interrogation your best mate is preparing for you.

He remembers being like this with Zayn a lot of times but there's one, about three months ago, that he remembers very clearly. He's been really sad about Liam hating him and driving Zayn crazy about it. He could laugh at how wrong he has been and how much everything has changed. But he can't laugh right now, because he's getting ready for Zayn's questions. Harry knows Zayn too well to know what's coming. He's been quite cryptic about the whole thing he wants to discuss with Harry, but Harry knows. And he's dreading the moment Zayn stops doing his arty things and actually starts talking.

"So," Zayn starts, leaving his sketchpad aside.

"Can't we stay like before you opened your mouth? Like, I really like it when you draw and I stare at you and we don't talk. It's nice," Harry says, before Zayn keeps talking. "You're nice to stare at. Perrie agrees with me." Maybe if he compliments Zayn and also brings Perrie to the conversation he won't have to answer questions.

"I know you like the staring thing. You've been doing it a lot lately, haven't you?" Zayn raises an eyebrow and does his stupid sexy crooked smile. Harry hates him sometimes. "You know who's nice to stare at too? According to your stupid face while doing so?"

Harry tries to play dumb, but he can't fool Zayn. Zayn knows Harry as much as Harry knows Zayn. They both know they're talking about Liam here, as Harry has predicted in his mind. It's silly to postpone the inevitable thing.

"Harry, look at me," Zayn says and Harry turns his face to look at his mate, rather reluctantly. "C'mon, Haz, talk to me. You know this will die in this room."

That is true. Harry trusts Zayn with all his heart and soul, and he knows Zayn won't be around telling everyone about their chat, but that's not actually the point. The point is that he isn't sure what he has to say yet, because maybe he hasn't figured it all out just yet.

"I'm... I actually don't know what to tell you," he sighs.

"What's going on between you and Liam, Haz." Zayn makes it sound so easy to define.

Harry stays in silence for a long moment, thinking. As if all the thinking he's been doing for the last month isn't enough. As if he can figure this whole thing out on his own.

"Nothing's going on," he says, at last, talking very slowly as he usually does when it's serious business. "I mean, like, nothing's  _happening_ ."

That much he knows. That much he's sure about. He also knows Liam just likes him as a friend. The thing here is, as he thinks Zayn is asking and as he has asked himself before, how does he like Liam? Harry doesn't think he likes Liam in a strict friendly way. He stares too much at him for that. He thinks too much about his warm eyes for that. He thinks too much about his plump bottom lip for mates. He enjoys being around him too much. Liam lights up his world a little too much for someone who's supposed to be just his mate. But at the same time, that can be just Liam being Liam, right? Maybe it's like that to everyone and Harry just has to get used to feel that way. Maybe it's just the fact that Liam is a ball of sunshine. Maybe it's just the fact that he has so much light and shine and that he burns brighter than the sun. Sometimes Harry thinks Liam is the sun. If he was a planet, he wouldn't mind to orbit around Liam all the time. All year long. He kind of does that already. Okay, maybe it's not only Liam being Liam.

"I... I don't know," he sighs, looking back at Zayn, who's patiently waiting for him to keep talking. He loves that about Zayn, he doesn't pry, he waits and gives you time to put your ideas in order. "I mean, I think I might like him? Like him,  _like him_ ?"

"You might like him?" Zayn asks, raising an eyebrow. "Haz, you like him, it's pretty obvious."

"But is it? I mean, how do I know if I really like him and it's not like, a mate thing? Like, how do I know it's not just the effect he has on people or something?" It's a valid doubt, isn't it? He could be confusing things, right? Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what kind of love you feel.

Zayn looks contemplative for a minute, while he finishes his cig. He looks like he's really thinking about it, so it must be a valid doubt after all, Harry thinks.

"Okay, uhm." Zayn starts, standing up and going to sit next to Harry on the floor. "Okay. How do you feel around Liam?"

He takes a moment to think. "Fine. Happy. Warm? I feel really warm. He's a warm person, isn't he?" Harry replies, playing whit a loose thread of his shirt.

"He is, indeed. What else?" Zayn's being so patient with him Harry wants to kiss him. Maybe he will smack a nice kiss on his cheek later.

"I don't know. Like, if I'm a little down, I feel better after seeing him. And I like sharing the happy things with him. And, like. I don't know; you know when it's been clouded for a few days and then one morning you wake up and the sun is up and shiny? Well, it feels a bit like that. Being around Liam." He's about to keep rambling about Liam and the sun, but Zayn's chuckle cuts him there. "What?"

"Mate, you just compared Liam with the sun, I think that clears everything up," Zayn says, trying to contain his laugh and failing. Forget about the kiss, Harry hates him.

"Hm. I thought maybe it was something that came with being friends with him? Like, I thought it was like something everyone did, because, like, he is a bit like a big ball of sunshine."

Zayn just shakes his head while he laughs openly at Harry now, and Harry sighs. It's okay. He likes Liam. No big deal. It's probably just a crush. Nothing big. Nothing serious. Except he knows that's not the case. And it's fucking terrifying.

"You should tell him," Zayn says, nudging Harry's side softly.

Harry's eyes widen at that and he shakes his head frantically. "What, no. No way. There's no way I'm telling him this. No."

"You should, Haz, believe me."

"No, Zayn, I. I can't," Harry says and tries not to pout, but judging by Zayn's face, he's not quite managing it. He asks Harry what's wrong and Harry can't bring himself to talk. He bites his bottom lip, harder than necessary, and looks anywhere but at Zayn. "I'm terrified, Zee," he says at last.

He is. And it's stupid, because what scares him the most is not Liam. It's all the people out there, judging them, mocking them. It's stupid and he knows it, but he can't help it.

"Just don't let it get to you, Harry. It's not worth it."

It's amazing, how he doesn't even have to say anything for Zayn to understand exactly what he's been talking about before. That's why he's his best mate and he loves him a lot. Maybe he deserves a small kiss after all.

* * * *

"Liam, you have to tell him," Louis says, for what feels - and probably is - the hundredth time.

"I won't Lou, I can't do that," Liam replies the same thing he has replied all those previous times.

He can't. He can't tell Harry how he feels. It'll just ruin everything; their friendship, their group, school. He can't risk that. He  _won't_ risk that. For what? For a gentle turning down from Harry? He prefers to keep everything he feels inside, even if sometimes it seems like he's too small and what he feels is too big. He'll try his best and keep it inside. He rather explodes than see Harry's pity face. 

"Just say something, for fuck's sake!" Louis fumes.

Liam can see how upset Louis is and he doesn't understand. This is his problem, not Louis'. He even has tried his best not to annoy him too much with his pining-over-Harry routine. He's not been succeeding much, apparently.

"Why do you worry so much, Louis, it's not your problem!" Now he's getting upset too, this can't be good. But Louis has been going on and on about this all day and Liam can't stand it anymore.

"Your problems are my problems too, you idiot!" Louis says, and they are starting to raise their voices now, great. "And you, you have him here, you have the chance to fucking say something and maybe fucking be with him and you're doing nothing about it and it's fucking frustrating, Liam. You just keep bloody crying over him."

"I... I can't do it, Louis, I can't." Liam raises his hands and runs one through his hair. He knows Louis is right, at some point. Still, he really can't do it. "And I don't cry over him."

"I can't believe you're missing this because you're too fucking scared of-"

"Scare of what?"

Liam hears Harry's voice behind him and feels the colour disappearing from his face and then coming back all at once. He looks at Louis and hopes he understands what Liam's begging with his eyes.

"Nothing, Harold. Don't you know it's not nice to eavesdrop other people's conversations?" Louis retorts, and while it stings that he treats Harry like that, Liam is grateful.

The rest of the group arrives then, so Harry says nothing and goes to sit next to Liam, as he usually does, while the others take their regular places. Liam is still immerse in an unspoken kind of war with Louis, but he can feel Niall staring. Niall's been around for way more than the rest of them, so he probably knows there's something going on.

"Lads, you're gonna burn the whole place down if you keep staring at each other like that," he sounds completely unimpressed by them. "What's going on now?"

"Nothing's going on," Liam is quick to reply, trying to shrug the subject off.

"Exactly, Nialler,  _nothing's going on_ . Because Liam doesn't want anything to go on, ever," Louis adds and it's so sarcastic and annoying that Liam could slap him.

"Lou," Liam warns, looking at him again.

Liam can feel the others looking at the three of them. Fuck, he can feel Harry's gaze studying -more like burning - his face. He could really punch Louis right now. Or maybe cry a bit. Neither of those options sounds nice.

"I can see there's nothing going on," Zayn mumbles from behind Perrie's shoulder.

"Maybe we could go? So you two can, uhm, talk?" Harry asks, hesitantly.

"No, Harry, I don't want to talk with Liam. Maybe  _you_ should talk with Liam," Louis blurts out and Liam feels a blush creeping up his neck all the way to his face.

"Why should I talk with Liam?" Harry says, clearly confused. He turns a little to Liam and asks: "Do you want to talk with me?"

"No?" Liam lowers his gaze to stare at the table, because he can't stand Harry's sad and confused expression right now.

"Oh, no? So you want like, what, hold his hand instead?" Liam looks at Louis with wide eyes and completely speechless. "Maybe, what? Ki-"

"Louis, stop talking right now!" Liam demands, trying not to yell and probably failing miserably.

He can't do this anymore. He stands up and walks away from them, not looking back. He can't look back at Harry right now. He can't look back at Louis' upset face right now. He doesn't get to be upset about this in front of Liam.

He gets to his house in record time, slamming the door of his room and kicking his backpack out of the way. He should've stayed there and laughed it off. But no. He's been the most obvious and stupid little shit since Louis Tomlinson and now he's gonna have to talk with Harry. He's gonna have to face Harry about all this and he's not nearly ready for it.

 

 

Less than half an hour later, he hears the door opening and rolls onto his back to face a very upset Louis. He enters the room slamming the door after him and Liam sighs, way too tired for this again.

"What now, Louis?"

"I'm not done with you." Louis points at him with his index finger and gets to the bed.

"Oh, you aren't?" Liam says, sarcastically, getting up and facing Louis. "I think you've made enough for me today, you-"

"Enough, lads." Niall comes into the room, stepping next to them and curling his hands on Liam and Louis' shoulders. "Liam, bed. Louis, chair. Now," he says, pushing each of them to said spots. He looks at them smiling then, satisfied, and sits at the end of the bed.

They sit like that, looking at each other in silence for a moment. Liam is glad Niall is here, because he doesn't know how it'd have ended with just him and Louis. A lot of yelling would have happened, that's for sure.  

"So, can we talk like normal people now?" Niall asks after some minutes, looking back and forth between them.

"No, because Liam-"

"Louis, c'mon. Just stop with this," Liam pleads, looking at Louis with what he feels are probably puppy eyes. He doesn't care how ridiculous he must look right now, he just wants this to stop.

"No, Liam, I can't stop." Louis snaps. "You have him fucking there and you're doing nothing and it's just... It's so frustrating Li, to see you two doing your stupid little dance around each other without actually, you know,  _dancing_ ."

"It's like the third time you say I have him  _here_ , what the hell does that even mean?" Liam asks, irritated and confused.

Louis snorts then, and turns on his chair so he's not looking at them anymore, covering his face with his hands. Liam stops for a moment.  _You have him here_ . What difference does it make that Harry's here and... Oh. So this is about that, after all. Liam should've seen it before. He and Niall look at each other knowingly, and then they both look at Louis' nape.

"Lou, how long has it been since you last saw El?" Niall asks, softly.

Louis groans and when he speaks, he sounds defeated and sad and all the things he never should sound like. "Around a month."

Liam should be really pissed off, because Louis has made Liam's life ten times more complicated just because he was sad, but all the anger he has felt before is gone in a second when he hears Louis' voice. Liam knows how hard it's been for him to be away from Eleanor while she's in college and he's here, and between classes and work they barely manage to see each other, and Skype relationships suck. You can't hug someone on Skype.

"C'mere, Lou," Liam says, making space for Louis to go to bed. He takes a moment, still not looking at them, but finally turns around and throws himself face first into bed next to Liam.

"I'm sorry, Li," he mumbles against Liam's pillow.

"It's okay, Lou. We're okay." Liam gets to Louis level and curls an arm over his back.

"Oh, boys," Niall says, looking at them. "Your stupidity is really touching." He launches himself on top of them and adds: "Now give me a hug."

* * * *

Harry's been waiting for half an hour already. It's Tuesday, so that means Liam stays for an extra hour at school, using the field to run. But it's just some running; Harry doesn't understand why it's taking him so long to come out of the locker room. Five minutes more, and Harry decides he's going inside.

"Liam?" He asks, coming into the room. There's no reply, but he hears a noise from the back of the room and since Liam should be the only one there, he goes find him.

"Hey," he smiles sheepishly when he sees him sitting on a bench. "I've been waiting for you."

"Yeah, I know," Liam says, looking briefly at Harry and then back to his feet. "Uhm, I was kinda hoping you would get tired and go?" He sounds sad and tired. He looks tired. Maybe Harry wasn't the only one who didn't get much sleep last night.

"Oh, I... I can go, if you want." He gestures towards the door and tries not to cry over the fact that Liam has just admitted that he doesn't want to see Harry and is actively avoiding him.

"No, no," Liam says quickly, raising his head to look at Harry. "We need to talk and I can't avoid you forever," he sighs, pointing at the bench with his head.

Harry hesitates for a moment but ends up going to where Liam is and sitting next to him, making sure they aren't too close. It sucks.

"I went to your house last night. I ran into Niall when he was leaving and he said you were with Louis and that I should give you two some time alone," he stars, not looking at Liam. "Everything good again between you two?"

"Yeah, we're fine," he replies. "He doesn't know how to deal with missing his girlfriend, I think."

Harry knows that; Niall told him. He talked a lot with Niall last night. It turns out Niall is brilliant at listening and giving advice, and even more amazing at cheering people up, but the last one Harry already knew. The first part has been a nice discovery, though. Niall was so good that he ended up dragging everything from Harry, how much he likes Liam and how scared he is. And somehow, he convinced Harry to talk to Liam about that. So here he is.

"So... You've been avoiding me," he says, after a long and awkward enough silence.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm sorry for that. I just wasn't- I'm not ready for this."

Harry can see how nervous Liam is, both in his little frown and in the way he seems unable to stop moving his leg. Harry's dying to reach out and hold his hand, but that would probably make Liam run away right now, so he sits on his hands instead, to stop the temptation.

"But, I mean, what's this, Liam?" Harry asks, tilting his head a bit. "I mean, for all I know, you want to hold my hand. That's what Louis said. And for all I know, it could be just him trying to annoy you."

He might have an idea of what this is, but Harry needs Liam to define it exactly. He doesn't want to jump into the wrong conclusion and ruin everything between them.

"Both are correct," Liam says, looking at Harry now. "I mean, that was Louis trying to annoy me but also, I would like to hold your hand. Maybe."

"Oh, well..." he wouldn't doubt a minute to hold Liam's hand, but it doesn't clarify much.

"I mean, you have nice hands. And a nice face, too," Liam says and Harry can tell he's rambling without thinking what he's saying because when he realises, he blushes profoundly. Completely adorable. "I mean, you're nice. To be around."

"Well, you're nice too," Harry feels his face getting warmer and he looks anywhere but in Liam's direction.

"I mean, I like being around you, it's nice," Liam continues awkwardly and bites his lip.

Harry looks at him then, biting his lip too. Liam looks like he's really thinking; or more like he's having an internal battle and everyone is losing. He stays quiet for what feels like forever, looking into Harry's eyes like he's trying to find something there, and Harry really hopes he finds what he's looking, because it seems important that he does so.

"Fuck it," Liam mutters and then starts talking very fast and without breaking eye contact with Harry. "I like you. I mean, I like being around you and I like being with you and I like your face. A lot. I really like your face, it's a very pretty face. And your dimples, and your eyes and your smile and how you laugh and your awful jokes and how you run your fingers through your curls without noticing something and... I like everything about you."

Harry's heart is racing by the end of Liam's rambling and he feels like he's gonna explode any minute now with how much he's feeling. Liam likes him. He likes him and Harry's never been this happy in his life.

"I guess what I'm trying to say," Liam starts again. "I think I may be a little bit in love with you," Liam breathes out and Harry's heart does a painful jump, clearly trying to get out of his chest and fly directly into Liam's hands.

"Oh," is all he can say.

Liam's face falls at that, literally falls. His eyebrows get together in a sad frown and his lips curve down, with a little pout he surely doesn't know is gonna drive Harry insane. He's blushing, obviously, and Harry thinks he's the most beautiful thing on Earth and also that Liam's probably gonna be his ruin. Harry is so immerse in admiring Liam's everything that he doesn't register the boy in front of him is standing up to leave until he's sitting alone and Liam is walking away from him.

"No, no, Li, wait!"

Harry stands up too and closes the growing gap between them in two big steps, bless his long limbs. He curls his hand around Liam's wrist and makes him turn around to face him.

"That's. I mean, that's cool."

"No, Harry, I just. Don't do this, I don't need yo-"

Harry cuts him off. "No, Liam, listen." He takes a deep breath and looks at Liam right in the eyes, because he needs him to understand this and to believe him. "I really think it's cool. Great, actually."

Liam looks utterly confused and a little upset, like he thinks Harry is playing with him. Harry finds himself overwhelmed by how much he wants to kiss the confusion away, by how much he wants to kiss Liam, until neither of them remembers their own names.

So he does. He puts his hands on Liam's cheeks and brings him closer, paying attention to every emotion crossing his face, searching for any signal that he shouldn't do this but finds none. When their lips finally meet, a warm feeling washes all over him, settling comfortably on his chest. It's like nothing he has ever experience before and he doesn't want to stop experiencing it, ever.

It's slow at first, just their lips brushing softly, giving Liam time and space to react into the kiss or push Harry away. Gladly, he seems to choose the first thing and starts kissing Harry back, making the kiss a bit more intense, more like the proper kiss Harry had in mind initially. He feels Liam's arms coming to rest around his waist, pulling him even closer, and can't help the happy sigh he lets out and right into Liam's mouth. He's not expecting it when Liam tightens his grip around him and lift him up the slightest bit, just enough to be able to turn them around and lean Harry against the wall and oh. Okay. Harry gives up any control of the situation that he may had then, sliding his hands off of Liam's face and down to tangle his arms around his neck.

They kiss like that for not nearly long enough and when they break apart, it's with a smile. Actually, Liam is grinning at him, and Harry's not prepared to receive this amount of sunshine directed at him. He may not worth it. He'll try to, though.

"It's great, because I think I may be a little bit in love with you, too."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thaaanks a lot for reading :)


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